Got problem kids? Man, when they hit those teenage years they all get rebellious and willful, and start thinking independently, and often start doing things their parents would rather they didn't. This is one of the tough responsibilities of being a parent — you have to be willing to let your children grow into independent human beings.
But let's say you never got that memo, and you think your job is to raise children who are just like you: insecure, a little bit angry, shackled tightly into a fearful belief system that says all human beings are evil. Independent thinking is the last thing you want in your obedient little repressed child-slave! Well, there's help for you: Shepherd's Hill Farm, an accredited Christian boot camp that will stomp his wild soul right back down into the mud of conformity and obedience.
It's way out in the middle of nowhere, so there will be no place for the wayward teen to escape to…and no one to hear them scream.
Shepherd's Hill Farm is a counseling center, so they will also take care of the mental health of your child. Trace Embry, the director, knows absolutely nothing about mental health and even gives dangerous advice against all the evidence, but you don't have to worry — he's a very vocal Christian. God will forgive him.
We have
testimonials from inmates residents of the camp
about the other benefits of attending. Does your child
have special medical needs, like seizures? They will
take his medicine away, but their staff is well-trained
in being able to simultaneously wrestle a child to the
ground and pray for him. Is your child a bit on the
hefty side? He will get 'special meals' — a can of
beans, a bit of vegetable, and a piece of bread — until
they reach that ascetic ideal. Your child will be
'brainwashed in the blood of the lamb,' so it's all OK —
even the beatings serve to transfigure hooligans into
robots for Jesus. For complete story,
click here.